The past few days I have been singing hymns. Please visit my blog at Hopes & Dreams to see the songs that I have been singing.
There is a deep sorrow lurking withhin me. Feelings are finally coming to the surface that have been buried. Thoughts of my Little Blue Cottage and how I will never again live within its walls and work in its garden. Those thoughts bring deep sadness to my heart and tears to my eyes. I guess I loved that little house too much. I think Easter has brought forth many pleasant thoughts that are painful to think of right now. Thoughts of Easter at my home in California with my nieces looking for eggs in our backyard. My boys would always make an Easter egg hunt for them. Grieving is hard work, so please do be patient with me. And please do not think that I am ungrateful, I am very thankful for our new situation. We may not own much now, but we are living debt free and I am very thankful for that.
This past Saturday I had a terrible tummy attack. The pain has been with me for weeks, but on Saturday it flared up especially bad. I am convinced that it is endometriosis as I have never really had any other problem with me body. The next step is surgery since nothing else has worked. I do not feel ready to undertake that step. Emotionally I will need to be strong and right now I feel it is taking all I have to settle here in Colorado. On top of that, I do not want to drain my husband and sons emotionally nor our finances. So I seek the Lord and know that in time He will provide.
5 comments:
Rest, dear friend. Seek His peace - the kind only He can give. Feel Him tenderly holding you - leading you - healing your heart. Soon you'll be realizing the blessing of new delights offered up by His mercy and grace. He's faithful.
Love,
jAne * tickleberry farm
Oh my dear Becky, I do promise that the pain of leaving your home will pass. You will always have a place there that longs for Cali but it does get better. I do beg of you not to have the operation as of yet. Knowing what you are going through, I fear that is too much to take on right now. Hold strong, pray to the Lord about the pain both mental and physical. He will relieve you. You are in my heart and prayers my dear friend. Love to you, Cherie
I want to say one more thing. The way the Lord explained it to me was with a rose bush. If you take a rose bush, no matter how strong it may be and move it, the move alone will be a shock. To move the rose bush to a lesser than desired climate causes even more shock. But then, he showed me that He is the master gardener. All knowing and understanding. The desire for the rose bush to move is no longer for it to flourish but for its beauty to reign in a new place where it is needed. And the rose bush will show its beauty because He is the great I AM.
i hope you get better real soon! May God comfort your heart and make you like Abraham, at rest in a new land of promise.
Thanks you ladies for your blessed comfort and encouragement, it is very much appreciated. God's love is very evident to me through your comments.
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