Wednesday afternoon I began to have my sickening tummy pain again. It felt worse than normal, like something was being wrenched inside. I stood out in the fresh air for awhile because I thought maybe it would help. I felt quite ill and it scared me. Even so I forced myself to eat dinner and then I went to the ladies Bible study at our church. I was glad that I went even though I was uncomfortable. I came home and went to bed. I could not get comfortable due to the pain, so I started massaging my tummy. While I did that something inside popped (the only way I can describe it) and let loose. Afterward, I fell asleep. However, in the morning I awoke to a very sore tummy and it lasted all day long. This morning I woke to a tummy that felt better than it did yesterday, but still sore. I am not sure what happened inside me, but I can say something significant happened and it was scary. Since all this pain has been so bad I decided to start taking my prescription of Arimidex that I have from last summer's pill blast. I want to see if taking it makes a difference since I could not make a decent go of it last year. Also, I have a phone appointment with my endo doc on Monday, maybe he will have some insights.
Otherwise I am still dealing with my feelings of homesickness. I think these lyrics from a song by Keith Green are appropriate:
So you wanna go back to Egypt
Where it's warm and secure.
Are sorry you bought the one way ticket
When you thought you were sure?
You wanted to live in the land of promise
But now it's getting so hard.
Are you sorry you're out here in the desert
Instead of your own backyard?
I was thinking of the children of Israel this morning and how they were trudging through the desert for the promise land. I remembered that they were homesick for Egypt. They were itching to be free and when the Lord finally freed them, they complained and grumbled in their freedom. I can see the same weakness flowing in me. Thankfully, the Lord is so loving, kind and patient with us. He continues on with His great plan showing us that He is completely faithful and trustworthy. I just hope somewhere in between my grumbling and tears I am being obedient to Him.
6 comments:
i hope you are feeling better real soon!! May God continue to heal and strengthen you :-) Good job keeping up a good attitude! When i am struggling with something, I find scriptures to confess over my situation and it helps me. Everything changes when we confess the Word of God. Hugs!!
I was thinking about you yesterday, wondering how you're doing and breathed prayer for your well-being. Seems as though the Lord impressed me to do just that. :o) He's amazing.
I'm wondering if your tummy massage released a bit of adhered scar tissue...? Praying for your health, Becky.
Love,
jAne * tickleberry farm
I'm glad to hear the pain eased somewhat and hope the endo Dr will be able to give you some idea of what is going on.
Singing hymns and praises to God is definitely the best way to lift the spirit of heaviness.
Praying for you!
I loved Keith Green and still support his ministry! It's wonderful how his music still speaks to us and leads us on to our Lord. I see so many young people listening to his music!
When we are weak...He is always strong!
I hope you're feeling better by now! Homesickness is an awful feeling - just thinking of it takes me back to times when I've felt it. Making it even harder, is that change is hard for me - probably for you, too. I'll pray for you to feel some peace and encouragement today.
I have no ideas what this could have been for you. The first thing that comes to mind is that something is healing. I will feel better, as probably you, once you speak with the doctor to confirm that this is a step in healing. Since it is feeling a bit better, sore but better, I am hoping for the best. Drop me an email please. Much love Becky.
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