The Fugitive Wisp of a Cloud

As quoted from Rose from Brier by Amy Carmichael ~ pg. 25:  "So there could be nothing but a peaceful acceptance, and when one accepts, all that is included in the "thing" accepted is accepted too - the helplessness, the limitations, the disappointments, the suffering.  I think this must be important to the clearness of our spiritual atmosphere, for if we let the fugitive wisp of a cloud which we call a wish (a wish that things were different), float across our sky, then swiftly the whole sweet blue is overcast."

As I was going through our things putting our new household together, I dipped into my file of Biblical notes.  On a piece of blue paper I found the notes I had taken from Rose from Brier that I had read years ago.  The words above spoke to me.  The "thing accepted" is our move to Colorado, the loss of my house, change, etc.  And then that fugitive wisp of a cloud...oh has that been tormenting me (homesickness).  My husband has let me cry on his shoulder lots this week.

Then there are the physical difficulties that pop up.  With myself it has been a tightness in my chest, or the feeling of nausea.  My youngest son has been having issues with his stomach or he gets a migraine.  This week he came home from school twice due to migraines.  Before that he got physically ill on the weekend.  The transfer has been hard on all of us.

This weekend we have been clearing our things out of the apartment.  Our last day to have it is March 3rd.  So rather than clear out in the middle of the week we are doing it this weekend.  The house is still a wreck.  There are still 4 boxes that have not been unpacked and boxes of things about us.  The boys room is the only room that I have in decent shape.  Tonight is our first night sleeping here.  We had dinner together in the dining room and we toasted with sparkling grape juice asking the Lord's blessing on our new home and those who dwell in it.

The Little Church in the Snow

 

Here is the little church we attended last Sunday.

I am on the shelf these days, homesickness is getting to me.  The Lord told me that I would be in for a time of mourning.  It is no fun dealing with a broken heart.  I did a little more exploring today.  I am slowly finding out that I like being close to the mountains even though it gets more snow, it just feels right.

Getting emotional & exploring

Today it was warm enough that Eric and I sat on the back deck at the house and enjoyed the view and the birds flying around.  It was really wonderful.  Out my bedroom window we watched Flickers flying around.  They have a gorgeous red coloring under their wings.  And we can see squirrels playing on our neighbor's roof across the street.

Well, it started on Monday; my left lung began to hurt while I was at the house.  It is sort of a burning feeling going on and bit of labored breathing.  It only happens when I am at the house and so far it is happening every day this week that I go to the house.  The last time I had a feeling like this was when I was babysitting for a client that was really stressing me out.  Once I stopped babysitting for her the pain stopped.  Okay, when I get to the apartment the pain in my lung calms down.  Mark says it is a reaction to my emotions.  He thinks that I am putting all my bad feelings about what has happened to us on that house.  Maybe so.  Then Brandon came down with a migraine at school and I had to pick him up.  The nurse at the school thought it might be brought on by the stress of relocating.  She is probably right.  We are going to be moving into the house on Saturday and I really do not want to leave the apartment because I am used to it.  I just do not want any more change.  Please say a prayer for us.  Thank you!

I have been driving around the Denver area trying to locate things we need.  We needed a box spring for Brandon's mattress.  Mark and I priced a box spring at one store and they wanted $144!  I told Mark there had to be something cheaper.  So in the evening I took Mark to another store and we got it for $80.  Much better!  Today while I was at the house I set up the beds for the boys.  Feels good to get that accomplished.

Now Mark and I need a headboard for our bed.  We have always wanted one, but didn't wanted to spend the money.  Well, now we need one.  I found on-line that JC Penney had a nice headboard at a good price.  So today I drove 11 miles down the freeway to a town called Littleton where they have a JC Penney at Southwest mall.  Well, I found out that they don't do furniture at that store.  I guess I should have called, but hey, it was nice to get out and explore.  I found that the town of Littleton is sort of like something I would find in Orange County, California.  It was nice, but I think I still prefer Golden.

Patching, Painting, Putting Away

There are so many details to take care of.  We have one more week left at the apartment and then we will have to move into the house.  I found out the cost of the apartments we are living in, we can afford them.  So if need be, we have a place to run to.  Today I asked Mark what we are going to do about all the stuff the landlord has in our garage.  He said that he is going to start bugging him to get his stuff out, he wants me to be able to park my car in it.  We will see what happens.

You know, the only set of blinds that are suitable in the house are the ones hanging over the kitchen sink.  Everything else needs to come down.  When I take them down I patch the holes, sand and paint.  I put a load of laundry in the washing machine provided by our landlord.  Praise God the washer works well.  My new dryer works fine too, so my laundry room is up and running.  The kitchen and dining area are cluttered up with unpacked items that need a place.  The living area is almost set as Mark and Eric got the stereo and dvd player all hooked up.  Things keep moving along slowly, step by step, but I need to work extra hard this last week before we move in.

It snowed all day yesterday and today.  When we showed up at the house this afternoon, there was a couple of inches to wade through to the front door.  I am not used to this kind of weather.  Sometimes I think it is fun and I stick out my tongue to catch snowflakes.  The way snow blankets the trees, mountains and roof tops is beautiful.  The other thing about snow that amazes me is how quiet it is.  Even so, I have never been a big fan of snow and I find it messy, scary and depressing.

Today we went out in the snow to go to church.  The church is on the other side of town, but not far from the house on the hill.  We met a couple of people, but mostly just enjoyed praising the Lord.  When I can I will post a picture of the little church in the snow.

God's Way is Best

"God is even kinder than you think. Fear ends where faith begins. Have faith, knowing tomorrow will hold the blessings of God."

I have been upset because there is no good place to park on my driveway because it slopes.  We cannot park in the garage because our landlord has a bunch of stuff in it that he has not removed.  Then this afternoon my neighbor came to my door and knocked, she is renting the vintage house next door.  She graciously offered to let us use her nice flat driveway since she only has one car.  God is so good!

My sons shoveled her driveway and she invited them in for some hot chocolate.  Afterward they came home and told me that I should go over and visit with her.  So I did.  We chatted over a cup of tea.  As we chatted I enjoyed the snowy scene outside her kitchen window.  I found out that she has been renting the vintage house since December 2009, just after we saw it.  She said her garage is also filled with our landlord's things.  She told me that she and her husband were going to rent our house and cleaned the carpets, while they renting the vintage house, but then our landlord told her she couldn't have it.  As she showed me about the vintage house, I realized that I did not remember the house very well at all.  She said that the plumbing is not working good and that the oven is 50 degrees off, and there are holes in the walls, and she had to deal with a mice infestation.  As she continued sharing, I began to realize the Lord's blessings toward me.

I spent the day unpacking more boxes and filling boxes with things to donate.  I am amazed at what a pack rat I have been.  The Lord is having me part with many things.  I found a music box that my sister had given me for my birthday.  I wound it up and it would not play so I unscrewed the lid and messed with it.  As I sat on the floor listening it played the tune "Memories" and I began to cry.

Another Walk in the Park

  

This is a picture of Crown Hill Park on an overcast day here in the Denver suburbs.  The big white area is a frozen lake.  I went walking here by myself today (boys were in school). The Lord was with me though.

This is a section of the path with hard snow.  When I came to the park on Monday, much of the path was covered with snow and ice.  On Tuesday we had temps in the upper 40's so a lot of the snow & ice melted.  It was much easier to walk the path this morning because I could actually see it.

 

This portion of the lake was icy.  When I came on Monday to the park, there were lots of Canadian Geese hanging out here.  Today they were elsewhere.  The geese like sunny days best and Monday was gorgeous cold sunny day.  On overcast days the geese seem to disappear.

I just thought this made a pretty picture with the two kinds of ice and then some of the branches from the tree touching the ice.  As I walked I heard a nearby bell tower chime.  Ah, so soothing to hear chimes.

 

This is another picture of Golden from our back deck.  Just thought it looked really pretty today.  Actually, I was trying to get a picture of the bird that pecks on our house, but she flew off before I could capture a photo of her.  I found out at the park that she is a female Flicker.  She is so cute.

Otherwise I am working hard at unpacking boxes and finding where things should go.  I am also filling up boxes of things to give away.  Even though the house we are renting is bigger than the blue cottage, the storage space is not the same.  I do not have a pantry, china cupboards, linen closet nor coat closet at this house.  So I am boxing up my antique glassware and storing them in the basement.  I have hope that I will someday move into a dream cottage here in Colorado if we don't move back to California.  We have to see where the Lord leads us.  In the meantime I am trying to get creative with storage and at the same time down-size what we own.  The Lord has been speaking to me about it (the abundance of my life is not in the amount of worldly treasures I accumulate).  It is hard to part with things that bring memories, but my new life demands that I down-size.

We are all missing our little house in California, we had a grand life there.  We were so comfortable.  I've only been in Colorado two weeks now, but I feel lonely.  In California I had girlfriends to visit with, teens to drive around or entertain and my family about me.  Today, at the apartment, two ladies knocked at my door.  They were very nice, however they were Jehovah Witness.  I was disappointed.  Oh well, the Lord has me working right now.  I need to focus on making the house we are renting into a home for my men.  Then I can branch out and find some friends.

A Walk in the Park

The boys had the day off from school today, so I decided to take them for a drive to a nearby park.  I am trying to get them to enjoy where we are.  The park is called Crown Hill Park (click on the link to find out about the park).  It has walking paths and a lake in the center of it which is frozen solid.  The walking path that winds through the park was covered in snow & ice, but we made our way through the park despite the obstacles.  The bare branches of the trees against the clear blue sky were lovely.  The Canadian Geese were there at the lake and it was fun watching them fly around and then settle on the frozen lake.  I will try to get some pictures of the park in the snow on the blog soon.  I really like this park and feel like it is a little oasis for me.

After our walk in the park, we went back to the apartment to have lunch.  I needed a nap after lunch and then we went out driving again.  I wound around through some streets exploring, then we took a country road through the hills which brought us up next to the Coors Brewery.  The boys thought it was cool.  Then we wound our way up into the hills of Golden exploring.  From there we went to the house and I started working again while the boys watched TV or played on the computer.

I am trying to do my best to make my men comfortable, but even so, they are feeling homesick.  Mark walks around sighing a lot.  He gets tired easily and grumpy.  He says he feels frazzled at work and at the house.  We feel pretty comfortable at the apartment, but we only have two more weeks to be here.

Sunrise

 

This is a picture I took a few days ago of the sunrise at the apartment complex.  I have been so tired that I was not able to post it till now.  One week ago today Mark and I drove through our first snow storm in Colorado to the Denver airport to return our rental car.  We have gotten through one full week here in our new home, I feel like it is an accomplishment.

We are still working at the house doing a little bit every day.  I am working on the kitchen and it is an overwhelming task.  To think that my little blue cottage was dismantled in a day by two men (packers) and here I am trying to reassemble a home in Colorado and it is taking me more than a week so far.  Ugh!  After doing all my work on Saturday, I came back to the apartment and there was a surprise for me.  I got a dozen pink roses for Valentine's day!

Oh, good news, we finally have a telephone and internet at the house.  Yahoo!!!  The other thing that is amazing about the house is how quiet it is.  I have never lived in a place that is so quiet.

So tired, but blessed

Been working on the house all week.  We have so much stuff, actually too much stuff.  I am way too sentimental.  Living in temporary housing has taught me that I really do not need so much stuff.  Here, I have just the basics and we are living just fine.

At the house I finally got all 3 bathrooms outfitted with shower curtains.  I have some lace balloon shades in a window in the living room.  I am hanging sheers in the dining room and working on the kitchen, papering the drawers and cabinets and then putting items away.  In the mornings while I work a woodpecker comes by to peck at the house.  One morning I saw him run along the railing of the deck.  A very pretty bird he is.  This afternoon while I was putting my curtains in the dining room windows I saw a pretty reddish-golden squirrel on our deck.  So cute!

Then there is all the other stuff that we are doing, such as getting our cars fixed up to drive in snow, opening a new bank account, getting our TV hooked up.  We are still trying to get our phone and computer working at he house.  Thank God for Mark's laptop and our cell phones.  Thankfully someone is coming tomorrow to help us get our phone and computer running.  Slowly, but surely, everything is coming together and the Lord has been helping us every step of the way.

More Snow

 

The house we are renting blanketed in snow.

  

The street we live on.

The back deck with our patio furniture.

The view from the upstairs bedroom.

The boys shoveling snow.

The high school covered in snow.

It is just down the hill from the house.

This morning we woke up to more snow.  Mark took the boys to school.  He said it was a scary drive because of all the snow and ice.  It was extra scary because he did not have the proper tires on his truck.  After spending a couple hours at work he went and got new tires put on the truck, which really made driving in the snow much better.  While he was doing that, I was doing laundry and housework at the apartment.  I also got in a nap which felt really good since I am still trying to get over that cold/flu thing I caught.

Mark came home for lunch and we had a nice time chatting before we went to pick the boys up from school.  After that we went up to the house and we went through more boxes.  I found my boots for the snow and the boys shoveled snow for the first time.  We had a good snow day.

Snow!

This is a picture of the apartment complex we are staying in (provided by Mark's company).  We will be living here until March while we establish ourselves in the house we have rented.  The Lord truly blessed our moving day with plenty of sunshine.  However, this morning we woke up to snow.  Light, fluffy, powdery snow!  I am sitting in our cozy apartment with a view of the hills out the living room window.  I have watched the snow slowly cover the hills with a blanket of white.

This is the view from our apartment balcony this morning before the snow plow came.  Unfortunately, I did not get to stay in my warm cozy apartment for long.  It was time to take the rental car back to the airport. We left before the snow plow came, so it was a bit slippery on the way to the interstate highway.  It was my first time actually driving in falling snow.  The airport is about a 40 mile trip from where we are living so I was nervous.  Mark drove the rental car while I followed behind in our mini van.  Eric was with me so I had good support.  We made it there and back in one piece.

My son Brandon came down ill last night with a stomach bug.  I had a few messes to clean up.  Thankfully, he is over the worst of it this evening.  Mark had something similar last Thursday, I hope Eric and I manage to escape it.

Apology in Order

Wow, what a day we had today!  We woke up to a very light dusting of snow which melted away as the sun rose.  We were up early so that we could meet the moving van.  Mark and Brandon went up to the house first.  I came a bit later with Eric.  As I drove over, I missed my exit and could not get turned around to back track.  I went into a panic.  Thankfully, Eric helped me get back on the right track and I made it to the house.

I admit, I was not looking forward to dealing with our day today, but as I walked into the empty house, I felt a sense of peace come over me.  I felt hopeful.  Then our landlord's wife showed up and she chatted with us about the house and about the city of Golden.  She really set my mind at ease.  She told us more about our landlord, how he used to hunt bears and ride bulls.  A real cowboy!.  They are both simple country folk and have a different way of doing things and living.  Something I need to adjust to.

As our furniture and boxes were brought into the house I directed the movers on where to put things.  Slowly the house began to take shape and I began to realize that things are going to be okay.  That is when I realized that an apology from me was in order to my family & friends for complaining so much.  I apologized to my husband and sons for making such a fuss about moving.  I just have been so scared and now that all seems so foolish.

As we sat at our dining room table in the house we were all amazed at the view out our windows and how close to nature we are.  As the movers wrapped up the deer came down to graze across the street.  The quietness of where we live also amazes us.  At the Little Blue Cottage there was the constant noise of traffic from the nearby freeway and streets, airplanes, sirens and trains.  At House on the Hill, we faintly hear some noise from distant Hwy. 6, but otherwise it is very quiet.

Today, I thought about my blog friend Outdoor Mom.  She lives in the mountains of Montana.  She tells stories about her home with a creepy basement and of walks in the snow.  Thinking of those stories gave me strength to press forward today.  Also, stories shared by Jane and Fairmaiden have given me comfort as well.  You know, the Lord really does use this blogging stuff for good.  

Day Three

Last night Mark and I prayed together about our situation.  We went to bed and I couldn't sleep so I spent time with the Lord.  He reminded me about the book "The Hiding Place" and how Corrie and Betsy suffered during WW II.  That even in difficult situations these two dear ladies continued to trust in the Lord.  Their motto was:  There is no pit so deep that He is not deeper still.  I went to bed knowing the Lord is with me even in this situation.

This morning Mark got an email from our landlord, that he moved all the furniture into the garage.  At least it is out of the house.  We are hopeful that he is going to get the stuff out this weekend.  Mark did not let me go up to the house today, he told me he wanted me to rest.  So I rested and let myself enjoy the beauty of where we are.  The boys are enjoying their new high school and that comforts my heart making it worth it to be where we are.  Eric has metal shop and jewelry making as electives, Brandon has cooking.  They are more relaxed about requirements here and the way they work the schedule makes for a more relaxed day.

The boys are looking forward to moving into the rental house.  Our furniture arrives tomorrow.  We are going to live in the house until we can find a more suitable property to rent as the Lord provides.  Thank you dear friends for your support to me at this time, I sincerely appreciate all your good words.  God has been so good to me through your kindness.

Our Second Day

This morning we were up very early for an appointment at Golden High School.  It was cold and it looked like it was snowing in the mountains.  While we were inside the school the clouds cleared up and it was sunny.  We filled out paperwork on the boys and then they each saw a counselor.  The counselors both strongly advised that the boys start school right away.  The boys were taken by surprise that is for sure.  They do things differently here, but the boys seemed to take it all in stride.  Tonight they went to bed early, they were both tired from their first day.  Plus the cold weather and the altitude has taken a toll on us all.

After our appointment at the school Mark and I went up to the house again.  We decided to make a go of it with the house until we can find something more suitable.  This house is not to my liking, but it still is not as bad as the worst house we saw on our house hunting trip in December. Probably the best thing about the house is the location.  The kitchen counter top is granite, but the cupboards need a bit of work.  The flooring throughout the house is great, but the basement is not finished and the dryer is rusty.

Okay, there is another problem I have not mentioned.  Our landlord cleared all the furniture from the vintage house for those tenants and  put it in our house.  My husband has no idea what to do and neither do I.  We have requested that he remove all the furniture.  From there we can only rely on God and trust that He has a plan for us.  We owe this month's rent on the house, but so far we have not paid as we are waiting to see if the furniture will be removed.
 
In other news, Mark and I went and got our Colorado Driver's Licenses today.  It went quick and easy.  It was sad to see a hole punched into my California license.  Oh well, we can only move forward. We also bought ourselves a new vacuum (finally...lol).  I went for the expensive one because I told Mark, if I can't have the house I want maybe I can have a vacuum I like.  Mark put it in the cart.  :-)

We have arrived...

Well, here is my first post!  We are finally here in Colorado after a grueling few days of moving.  I was very sick with a viral infection and running a temperature which got up 101 degrees at one point.  I was in miserable shape, but thankfully I am getting better.  We arrived safely at Denver airport with our little kitty Dusty.  Right now we are in temporary housing and I am glad, because, the House on the Hill needs work.  It is not a complete dive, but it is not as nice as the vintage house.  We are disappointed.  We were told that the house had a finished basement, but it is not finished.  Our landlord seems to be attentive and is making some repairs.  For the next month I am going to be living in temporary housing (which is very nice) and fixing up the house to make it suitable enough for our presence.

Right now we feel like we have lost everything dear to us.  We are in a strange place and going to live in a house we do not really like.  We have no friends or family here.  Personally, I feel completely lost and I do not see where God is in all of this right now.  I feel the trial is too hard for me to bear.